Several things bring wives here.
Some are hurt and want help.
Some are curious and want answers.
Some are fascinated and want to learn more.
Some have no idea why they're reading this except that a husband or suitor asked them to do so.
Reactions are equally diverse.
Disbelief -- are you even serious?!
Insult -- why do you think I ever would?!
Outrage -- whatever makes you want that?!
Indignation -- who do you think I am?!
Disrespect -- what do you think I am?!
Confusion -- why do you want such a thing?!
Maybe you thought that your relationship was very satisfying for both of you. Come to find out, hubby isn't so happy after all. And what he's asking, you never imagined!
Your husband is asking you to cuckold him.
He WANTS you to have sex ... with OTHER men.
Honey if this is where things are, understand something right now.
Once your man gets a taste for the cuckold fetish, once he admits his yearning to himself, once he pushes through his angst to embrace the pleasure the idea gives him, once he learns that OTHER men's interest in you so totally arouses and enthralls him as to crush his resistance and MAKE him completely helpless to intervene -- that's it.
Once he realizes that he loves and needs it, it’s over.
There is little you or anyone else can do to save him.
Once this fetish defines his imaginative, psycho-sexual response, he will never understand why ANY woman would resist such an arrangement.
Even if he sometimes agonizes over the implications of it, he will never stop wanting to convince you to cuckold him.
Even if he never mentions it again, it will be there. Even if you never see it, it will be eating, goading, tempting him. Always.
Believe it, Honey: by the time hubby works up the nerve to raise this with you, he has saturated his mind with cuckold blogs, cuckold images and cuckold stories. He may have followed these things for months or even years. It now controls his response.
Translation?
He's HOOKED.
Straight vanilla sex with you will NEVER fill the void. He may enjoy 'one on one' intimacy, but he will NEVER again be fully satisfied with that alone. Never.
The cuckold fetish hits HARD. Like crack. Even if your man sets this aside for a time, it will always be there.
Truth is girl, husbands often to go through purges. They think they've wheeled the fetish to the curb like so much trash. But the disposition is still there.
Always.
Just waiting.
It's waiting for a trigger. And in weeks, months or years, opportunity or circumstances will 'trigger' that disposition!
Something will set it off and he'll fall off the wagon. When it does, his cuckold tendency will reignite a whirlwind of cuckold desire.
In a solitary instant, he will succumb to his latent cuckold fetish! He will return to all his favorite cuckold blogs. He'll be more convinced than ever that there is no better sex for you on the planet--and absolutely no better sexual high for him!
Like never before, he will be completely convinced of the utter beauty, rightness and goodness of it. His desire for you to spend yourself in long, slow, pumping, juicing, throbbing orgasms on a very well-endowed man will burn in him with sacred vengeance!
Absolutely nothing on this earth you or anyone else can do will stop it.
Not. A. Thing.
The truth is Honey, it matters not whether it makes sense to you. What matters is that this makes TOTAL sense to him. This is his new reality.
So here is the question: ‘what will be your next move.’
Basically, you have three options.
1. You can resist it.
2. You can ignore it.
3. You can accept it.
It's easy to rule out option 3 first and say, "but I'd never do that!'
Yet each option has consequences.
Options 1 and 2:
- Offer NO WAY to move past this relational roadblock.
- Block communication between you and your husband.
- Guarantee frustration and resentment for you both.
Refusing option 3 retreats back to 1 and 2.
But 1 and 2 are not 'resolutions' at all.
That's where option 3 becomes VERY compelling.
Why?
Because Honey, his cuckold fetish isn't going to quit or leave.
Not ever!
That's the rub.
That's the strength of option 3.
Only option 3 pushes through this issue to move toward marital maturation. That is the only option with a difference. Since his cuckold desire ISN'T going to change...
So you can stay stuck on 1 or 2 permanently, OR
You can move on to 3.
The choice is yours.
____________
If you're trying to figure out what to do with this, here's a plan. Print this page. When you're alone together [or better, if he brings it up] give him this to read.
When he sees where it’s going, he’ll be pretty intensely involved. That is to your advantage. While he is reading, realizing that you’re onto him, wondering what you’re thinking and what he’ll say next, you get to watch him like a hawk, for guilt or arousal, for dread or comprehension.
As soon as he’s finished, have your questions ready. Use them before he has a chance to recover his footing. Demand to get it from him. ‘This is true, isn’t it; that’s what all this has been about...isn’t it.’ Make sure that he hears this NOT as a question [is this true...] but as a statement YOU know is true, and you’re going to see him ADMIT it to you.
If he tries to back out, close off his escape. TELL him that he’s hooked. MAKE him admit it, that he is helpless to stop fantasizing about it and to be aroused by it. Don’t let him off because he promises to change! Point out that men often undergo ‘purges,’ but are drawn back to this like a moth to a flame. Tell him that you know that he can’t help but be aroused by this. You know that it is only a matter of time before something sets off his cuckold fantasizing again.
MAKE him admit these things.
When he does, it’s likely that he will be very vulnerable. Likely, he'll want to know where he stands with you, and whether this changes thing between you. Remember that this may be emotionally challenging for him. But don’t apologize for what his nagging brought on him. And you don’t have to answer him.
You can say that ‘I need time to think through these things...’
This means that you have control of the conversation. After all, with his weeks, months or even years of coaxing you to consider cuckolding him, he can hardly deny you that.
If he wants to know where you found this, you can decide whether to answer. If you want, you can say simply, `...this is the information age; women talk. ’
This discussion can alter the sexual power balance in your relationship significantly. It can put you in position to shape where the relationship goes. You now have an opportunity to consider what this means, what you do or don’t want, and how you might proceed.
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