I Cheated And It Turned My Husband On

Recent generations have seen relationships undergo genuine metamorphosis.This hasn't always been easy. But increasingly it seems true for our time that alternative models can and often do work.

In this Huffington Post re-post, writer Michele Zipp speaks about her affair with another man, and the fact that her husband was also aroused by her infidelity.
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We hear about people getting turned on by weird things all the time. There are some women who get all hot and bothered when their husband cooks, and others... get excited when they learn their partner is having an affair. Hold the phone. What?!?

Marianne* is a mom of two who has been married to Joseph* for just under 10 years. Things took some sort of turn in her marriage last year when she acted out on a fantasy to have sex with a guy who has been flirting with her for some time now. He's a bartender -- how cliché, she says. She told her husband about the affair and instead of wanting a divorce, he wants her more. It turned him on. Let's let Marianne tell us more.

I feel like the luckiest woman in the history of the world. I cheated. I got my rocks off with some guy. It was fun and exciting and bad and naughty and did I mention exciting? But I didn't want to leave my husband. I just wanted some fling. Something to satisfy these intense sexual urges I was having and wasn't getting fulfilled at home. I acted on it, told my husband, and he not only forgave me but wanted to know details. It turned him on.

Maybe I should be worried but I'm not. Well, not really.

This fling I had with Jake*, the bartender at the local pub I won't dare step foot into again, was a long time coming. He has always flirted with me even when I was there with Joseph. Joseph and I had been very distant for many months when I was on a rare kid- and husband-free night out and Jake started flirting. I flirted back in a harmless way like I usually did but this time I also gave him my number. He called the next day. We made plans. We went to a hotel. Numerous times. Once a week for about two months. It got intense. I got scared. I wanted to have sex with my husband, not Jake. So I broke it off and told Joseph.

He wasn't happy. He felt sad and hurt and sorry he wasn't satisfying me. I told him how it made me realize so much and I felt awful. "No, you didn't," he said. "And that's okay." I was shocked. Joseph understood why I did it. He didn't want a divorce. He wanted me to tell him the best parts of having sex with someone else so he could please me in the same ways. It was weird at first, but I ended up telling him, little by little, more and more details were revealed. And now almost a year later, our sex life is better than it's ever been. We overcame my affair and sometimes Joseph even asks me to recount something from that time because it turns him on.

Strange? Maybe. But it works for us. And we're happier than ever.

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* Names have been changed.

If you have a story to add, submit it! Share your experience with others.

Profile of a Cuckoldress

Written from a woman's perspective, this article from the now inactive 'This Wife's Turn' blog features such candor as challenges her sisters to to find such honesty regarding their thoughts and desires.

With a strong finish, this article, 'The Profile of a Cuckoldress' admonishes us to be true to ourselves as a means of maturing and actualizing our selves.

BRAVO!
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So maybe you are at least just the teansy bit interested in this lifestyle, but just can’t shake the idea that a good and proper woman, or wife, or mother should not act on that curiosity, or even consider it.

So I want to tell you about the women who do consider the thoughts, the daydreams, and the fantasies.  The women who embrace the freedom and act on those thoughts.

I’ll start with me.

I’m a fairly curvy woman, I was built to pleasure a man. I love to know that he is hot with desire for me and my curvy parts.  I love to see and feel the physical response of  a certain body part only he has and knowing that I was able to do that to him.  Something magical happens inside me when I know that I am the object of a man’s desires.  Even if that desire is never physically realized, it is a HUGE aphrodisiac.

I love to be touched and rubbed by my partner, to feel his strong, rough, and yet soft hands on my smooth skin.  My breasts are sensitive, one of my erogenous zones. It tingles when my nipples get hard, the tingling drives me wild, makes me warm, and lustful. Sometimes in the throws of passion, if they aren’t getting enough attention, I’ll rub and stimulate them myself. I’ve been called a touchy-feely type of girl many times.
I love sex, all parts of sex; the flirting, build-up, and anticipation, the kissing, teasing, and foreplay, the penetration, being filled up, and the building of the orgasm.

How does that sound?  Does that sound too far off a ‘normal’ woman?  Does that sound so different than you?

But wait, that’s not all!!!!!

As much as I would like to say that I am a 24 hour, 7 day a week sex goddess who spends 100% of my time doing and thinking about sexual things, life does interrupt and it must be lived.  I am a regular woman, a wife, a mother, and part of a regular family.

We could be any family that you meet.  We could be your next door neighbors, the family seated next to you at church, or another family on your child’s soccer team.  I could be that new mommy at the playgroup, I could be your best customer at your last Pampered Chef party, or maybe I started the scrapbook club you so look forward to each month.  We have our jobs, friends, and responsibilities that can’t be neglected just because we want to enjoy our extra sexual fun.

Enough about me, so now what about you?  Think you might fit the profile of a Cuckoldress?

Angela Lewis, PhD, in her book “My Other Self” says yes you do!  Well, okay, maybe not you specifically, but she does say that any ‘normal’ woman could be a cuckoldress.  Her research and observations has led to some conclusions that may surprise many people.
Her full survey results can be seen from the link below, and I’ll list the high points below:

Survey Results
According to the survey, the definition of a ‘Typical” Cuckoldress:

• Well-educated
• White
• In her thirties
• In her first marriage and has been in it for at least 11 years
• Dominant in her relationship, but submissive with her lovers.
• No preference in race, but does consider penis size when considering lovers
• Still has sex with her husband.
• Separates love from sexual desire.
• Discrete about her extra-sexual fun

Some of the reasons women gave for choosing this lifestyle:

• Husband cannot sexually satisfy me
• I have a high sex drive
• I had a crush that I wanted to explore
• My husband worships and adores me and has given me the gift of having all the sex and pleasure that I deserve
• My husband is an alpha male in his life, but he willingly submits to me sexually and I love to see him lose control
•  Discovered husband is aroused by this fantasy and I enjoy the power and control

I was surprised by the lack of rules for some couples.  Here are the activities where most said they have no rules and it depends on the situation:

• Husband’s allowed participation
• Condom use – really surprising and scary to me!!!

Finally, most have agreed that cuckolding has strengthened their relationships.

I’m not trying to convince you to live this lifestyle.  It is not for everyone and should not be entered into lightly.  I want you to know that you are not some hussy or something sleazy because these thoughts are in your imagination or because you want to do this.  Don’t let this society or culture tell you want a proper wife should do. 

But if it is fear that is keeping you from doing this, then find ways to manage it.  A little fear is a good thing.  It helps us to pay attention and to consider all the costs and everything that could be changed.  But too much fear is a bad thing.  If it keeps you from being who you want to be, then talk about it with your partner.  Find baby steps that can help you overcome and manage those fears.

You have your own dreams and desires.

You shouldn’t live in the shadow of your own desires forever. You have to take that chance and make your life reflect who you really are.
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Noises from the Apartment Next Door

This beautifully woven and naturally told story was submitted by email to the Modern Directions website, where it was edited and published for the world. Enjoy, but also offer your own comments!
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"Each time we heard them it was a painful remainder for me, and especially my wife, that our bedroom life was not what it used to be."

My wife and I had been listening to the guy next door banging his girlfriends for several months.

I don't want to even describe the noises they made, except they were loud, especially when they came.

There was no sleeping until it was over, which was generally very late.

One night after it had started up, I asked my wife if she ever wished if she was getting banged like that.

Without directly answering, she said that he must be good, the girls keep coming back.

As we listened to the girl get to a noisy climax I said to my wife that maybe she should ask him how he does it, and then she teasingly added, "Or get him to demonstrate."
" I said, 'Admit it, you would like to know what it would be like with him ' "
   
Later that night we heard it start up again. She took hold of my penis and asked if I would be jealous if I knew that was her over there.

I said, "Maybe a little, but you wouldn't have to listen to that every night and be jealous of those girls."

She said, "But then you would be jealous."

I tried to think of my wife over there getting banged and making the noises we were hearing. I started to get an erection.  She felt it. "What are you thinking about?"

"What it would be like knowing it was you over there and not one of those girls."

"Would that turn you on?"

She could feel my answer in her hand.

She said, "We used to do it most every night, if you'll remember."

I didn't need to be reminded.

For the next week or so I thought about it.

I knew when he got home from work, so made it a point to meet him outside his door.

Strangely, although we lived next to each other, we had never talked.

I discovered pretty quick that the guy was a buff, full-of-himself type -- the kind of guy that probably spent hours every week in a gym.

After a bit of chit-chat I said, "The walls are very thin; my wife is jealous of your lovemaking."

"Sorry, you can hear a clock ticking through these walls. The idiot architect put the bedrooms right next to each other."

 As we continued talking he said he needed the sex but after a month or so the girls wanted to get serious.

I said, "And I guess you don't."

"Hell no, I've been down that road and I'm still paying for it; every fucking month I pay for it."

He motioned to his waist and asked if my wife was the one with the very long brunette hair.

I decided that this guy was no threat to our relationship. I boldly said, "Tell her you love her hair and she's yours for the night, or at least a couple hours."

It was a lame comment to offer my wife to him for sex, but right then it was the best I could do. Plus, openly giving another man permission to fuck my wife was something I couldn't take back.

He waited for me to turn it into a joke or add some qualifications. I didn't. "You serious?"

"Just to borrow, and you can make all the noise you want."

He considered it. "If you are serious, have her come over about 7:00 tonight and we'll get to know each other."

We went into our respective apartments and when my wife got home I said, "I have a date for you with the guy next door."

She said, "What do you mean, a date?"

"So he can get to know each other. He's expecting you in an hour."

"For what?"

"Talking, and whatever else. And you can make all the noise you want."
" She narrowed her eyes, 'You really would like to listen wouldn't you?' "
   
I said, "We've been listening long enough; maybe it's time for you to be part of the action."

 "And you want me, your wife, to be part of his action?"

"And your action too. Admit it, you've been wondering what it would be like."

"What are you thinking about here -- friends-with-benefits?"

"Exactly."

"And you would rather hear me moaning over there than one of those girls?"

"And I think you would like to be the one doing the moaning."

After supper I had her change into a sexy dress with no bra.  I was getting turned on thinking of her going over there like that...sending a clear, "I'm available," message.

What would happen?  I had no idea.

Lest she chicken out, at 7:00 I walked her to his door, pushed the door bell and walked away.

I listened at the wall for almost an hour. I heard them talking, but they were in the living room away from the wall and I couldn't make out what they were saying.

Finally. their voices shifted to what I had learned was the bedroom and I heard giggling from my wife and I thought, I guess the talking part is over.

I heard the bed squeak several times over the next 15 minutes like they were shifting positions and apparently into making out.

Before long the familiar noises started, but this time the woman was my wife.

It went on for some time, just as it usually does with his dates.

I wanted her to enjoy it -- I wanted both of them to enjoy it.

Then I started hearing her encouraging him and it got louder until I heard the unmistakable "ahhh" from him that signaled his climax.

It was only then that I fully realized that another man -- and I didn't even remember his name -- had shot his load into my wife.

I almost shot my load hearing it.

As soon as she got back, she said, "I had to leave; he has someone coming over."

I said, "Does he have anything left for her?"

"I'm sure he does. So, I guess you could you hear it."

"Yes, but did you make it?"

"No, he said next time I could stay longer and he would see that I came -- at least once. The guy is pretty confident in his abilities."

"I figured that when I talked to him. So did you like it?"

" ' He's strong and he's big, I can see why....'  She stopped. 'Sorry. I guess I shouldn't be saying stuff like that to you.' "

There was a long pause.  He wants me to come over tomorrow night....and stay longer. 

There was an awkward moment and she lamely added that she hoped they hadn't made too much noise.

I said that I would like to hear both of them make a lot of noise.  "Tell him when he wants to borrow you to just knock on the door"

"Jez, just knock on the door!? What kind of a ...."

I interrupted, "Would your rather hear some other girl over there getting the action?"

"Okay, assuming we get this friends-with-benefits thing going, what if we still hear other girls over there."

"If you keep him satisfied he wouldn't need to look elsewhere.".

"Satisfied?  That guy does some girl every night and twice on Sunday."

"Like you said, we used to do every night -- unless you are no longer up for that much action."

She said, "Just because we don't do it that often any more doesn't mean I'm not capable of it."

"Let's see."

Later that night her cell phone rang. She started with, "Oh, hi," and ended with, "Give me a couple minutes." She looked at me.  "I'll be back in a while."

About 40 minutes later the room started to shake as his bed rocked. I heard her loudly encouraging him. (Was she trying to make me jealous?)

Then I heard the noises she makes when she's building to a climax, except much louder. I wasn't sure if this was real. Was she trying to compete with the other women, or she was trying to make me jealous?

Not too long after that I ran into him outside.  After a few awkward moments he said, "Your wife says I just have to call and she will come over."

I nodded. "What's your secret with all the women?"

He shrugged, "No secret. I'm big and I can go a long time before I come, which means they come before I do. So how often can I....?"

I said, "Whenever, and you don't have to wine and dine her like other girls. She's already married and on the pill, so you don't have to worry about any of that."

"And this is really okay with you?"

"Keep her satisfied -- more than satisfied, if you are up to it."

He considered if. "Can she come over tonight about 10?"

"I'll ask her."

At 10:00 she left for his place.

At 10:45 the room was shaking and I heard the sounds of my wife heading toward a climax.

Then I heard her loudly climax, and then him.

And then so did I.

At 11:35 I heard the shower running.

At 11:50 she was in bed beside me. She said, "I can see why those women keep coming back."

By midnight she was asleep.

Maybe now my wife won't have to listen to some other girl getting off every night.

And I won't have to hear her subtle complaints about our sex life.

Seems like a good deal all the way around.
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This wonderful, sensitive story is a superb blend of joy, giving, sensibility and eroticism. It is true that most couples require more time before coming to this point. But this does not diminish from the goodness, desirability or rightfulness of their experience in the least.

If you are a woman, how would you react to hearing these these cries of pleasure, night after night? If you are a man, would you find courage to make the bold step this man did?

Afraid to Tell Her...

This continues discussion of the preceding article by Dr. Dawn Michael at The Happy Spouse blog. That article was followed by various comments, one of which is posted here.  It has been lightly edited without permission to improve readability.
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'I discovered my wife had sex with a close friend of mine. We had planned dinner with him at our home when I got called away for work. She accidentally left her damp patties in the living room for me to discover after I got home late. I also found a slick wetness in our bed when I joined her already sleeping. They don't know I know. I got angry at first, then curious, and now I am constantly aroused by it.'

'Lately, I have to work to avoid becoming aroused when we are all together. Now what? Does that make me a cuckold? Last night he was over for beverages. He hugged her close when he arrived and gave him a nice warm and friendly kiss. There was so much sexual tension in the room. I actually tried to find ways to leave them alone in the living room for several minutes at a time.'

'The evening went on but with little more than a suggested atmosphere of attraction between them. I could tell they were ready to jump each other. When he left he thanked us for a great night then turned to her as she was offering him another hug. Wow. He actually gave her a serious hug and she gave him a longer warmer kiss. He left. She went to bed. I joined her in a few minutes. I was afraid to tell her how turned on I was from watching. But I was even more afraid that she'd see it for herself. As it was, she was asleep.'

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Here, a husband worked through his feelings related to his wife's 'infidelity' and emerged from this process with deep, sexual arousal. Ironically, he feels that he must hide his response from his wife. Does he fear that her reaction would be less than positive if she knew what caused his arousal? Or, could it be that he fears that her reaction would be very positive, that she would take charge of the direction of the relationship and leave him helpless as she became even more open with other men?

This husband's initial response to his wife's exploration is anger. But soon, that attitude evolves from anger to curiosity, from curiosity to arousal, and from arousal to continual arousal. At length, he finds himself fighting his arousal when they are al together.

It is fascinating that even though he feels sexual tension flooding the atmosphere, even though he knows that his wife is sexing him, this husband continues to receive into his home this friend who is sexing his wife.

Moreover, this husband seeks ways [multiple!] to leave his wife and her lover alone together thereby encouraging them to share affection. He has adopted the role of their facilitator. He seems further aroused by the emboldened display between his wife and this other man, and finds his proximity to his wife to be sexually stimulating for only for her, but for himself as well.

Perhaps readers have similar experiences or stories and will submit these to be posted on these pages.

Men who Want their Wives to Experience Well-Endowed Men, One Woman's Perspective

Yesterday's repost from 'Hottie' and Steve now defunct LSP blog brought heavy responses. One was a reply from 'rougedmount.' She is remarkable for many reasons. Among these are a quick mind, brilliant pen, and a refusal to compromise truth as she sees it.

Rougedmount is always refreshing.

Sadly, rougedmount answers this not from the perspective of her husband, but explains rather why some husbands would want this for their wife. That said, she makes her case with remarkable force. 

Readers are welcome to submit comments on insights and experiences for inclusion on this page. No personal attacks are permitted. This is a safe place.
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Why does my husband want me to have “big cock sex?”

How about because he isn't a sexually selfish asshole who actually puts her sexual needs above his own need to claim sexual ownership of another person?

Why does my husband want me to have “big cock sex?”

How about because he is sexually aroused from the idea of it…insert for whatever freaking reason you want “here”.

Why does my husband want me to have “big cock sex?”

Because he values a healthy communication and physical relationship with a partner instead of hiding his true desires behind a façade of anger and resentment that he wears like a chastity belt inside the marriage bed?

It’s like saying, “Why does my husband want me to have sex with another woman?”

Well, no matter how much a man may want this, it’s not going to happen unless the WOMAN wants it. “Why does my husband want me to wear lingerie and stockings?” A woman won’t do it if it makes her feel like a whore, no matter how much her spouse may want it.

Why does my husband want me to have “big cock sex?”

How about because she fucking DESERVES to be happy in one teeny tiny aspect of her life when she sacrifices every. Single. Fucking. Thing. to make sure the entire family unit functions and his career succeeds and the bills are paid on time and the dog is walked and he has clean socks.

Why does my husband want me to have “big cock sex?”

Because it’s as different as having sex with a woman or masturbation…it’s just what it is! Nothing more, nothing less.

Sorry for the bit of a rant but I am suffering from severe sexual deprivation…but some men might notice that after 10-15-20 years of marriage, their wives “may” not be sexually satisfied and finally seek a solution for it while still staying married, and so they want her to have “big cock sex”.
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