When Mistress Zhang combines smoldering sensuality and an erudite tongue, the resulting read is compelling in thought, style and honesty that cannot be ignored.
An extraordinarily capable Dominatrix, Mistress Zhang here plumbs in depth the cuckold's psycho-sexual self for insight on the oft asked query, 'WHY is this desire so powerful.'
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The Mind of the Cuckold Explained: History, Culture, Psychology
“A man shall leave his father and his
mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one
flesh…What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate”.
(Matthew 19:3-8)
…unless the man throws away his basket of stones and encourages his wife to commit adultery.
Have you ever fantasized about seeing your wife or girlfriend with
another man? Do the thoughts of her cheating on you, having
fantastic sex with other men, and coming home to tell you about it
arouse you? Do you want to understand why you feel this way?
The humiliation of infidelity can be so sweet and oftentimes a higher
source of pleasure than sex itself.
You, My humble reader, will
now find out why.
As a Dominatrix, I have noticed that one of the most common fetishes
amongst My submissives is the fantasy of being cuckolded by Me or their
female partners. My subs come from all over the world — US, Asia, Middle
East, Europe, Central & South America, Africa. That men from
different cultural backgrounds express a common interest tells Me
something about the universality of this most intriguing fetish.
Cuckoldry, when a man derives sexual arousal by thinking about or
watching his female partner having sex with another man, has a powerful
psychological effect with dimensions shaped by society and biology.
You may be wondering: Why is the fetish considered a taboo? Why would
a man want to be cheated on by his wife? What sorts of pleasures does
it really bring for the couple?
Let’s go diving!
WHY CUCKOLDRY CLASHES WITH MAINSTREAM CULTURE
My cuckold submissives find themselves internally conflicted with this ‘strange’ desire. Cuckoldry is considered a fetish
because its very oddity betrays a fundamental and age-old norm that has
been the guiding light in much of the Western world since the dawn of
agriculture. Yes, I am referring to monogamy. Let’s go
waayyyyyyyy back. Out of the 1200 societies in the world, less than 200
of those encourage/enforce monogamous relationships between men and
women. Since the advent of agriculture and ownership of property some
10,000 years ago, civilization became more complex, requiring the energy
and care by both parents to ensure the survival of their offspring.
When a monogamous pair begets children, passing property on to one’s
offspring requires one to be certain of paternity. Those kids are mine, those kids will get my stuff.
In the powerful states and empires of antiquity — Peru, India, China,
Egypt, Mesopotamia just to name a few — the commoners were expected to
be monogamous while the elite ruling class often practiced polygyny.
Religious institutions were also champions of the monogamy model. The
benefits of monogamy is that it encourages a large population of model
citizens to produce more model children to serve the state/church, it
equalizes sexual reproductivity between high-status males and low-status
males (there is now a girl for every boy, instead of many girls
for just the boy with all the toys), and it ensures legacy.
Monogamy is idealized and institutionalized in societies in which a
lot of effort must be spent to acquire resources and establish one’s
territory. In other words, go to school, get a job, buy a house, take a
girl on a date & marry her & raise children together with the
money you earned from all those years of schooling and job training.
Raising a child in a first-world country is A LOT of work. Therefore,
bi-parental care is necessary. Monogamy serves the common man with
limited resources, it serves the state that needs an ideal to guide and
control its citizens, it serves the elite who needs a stable labor
force. Polygyny is for the wealthy who can afford it.
We are socialized to accept the millenniums-old belief that monogamy
is a virtue, and that infidelity is equated with immorality, emotional
instability, and narcissism. In the book The Myth of Monogamy, authors Dr. David P. Barash and Dr. Judith Lipton wrote:
“Once a monogamous code exists, violating
that code is antithetical to higher levels of civilization and of
personal development”.
By now you must know that humans are not naturally
monogamous. Otherwise infidelity would not occur. Nevertheless, we are
taught to remain faithful to our partners and never stray. Sigmund Freud
argued that if an urge is not instinctive, then we wouldn’t need the
restriction. Monogamy is a restriction above all else, and Freud
suggests that civilization is built on the repression of the instincts.
How does this relate to cuckoldry? Cuckoldry contradicts the very
ideals upon which monogamy is founded, and, furthermore, it contradicts
the popular notion of men being territorial, jealous baboons.
THE TYPICAL CUCKOLD
The vast majority of cuckolds are men in
their 30s and up, and living comfortable lifestyles. They are usually
married or have remained in long-term relationships. They are usually
alpha males with above-average intelligence, hold high-power executive
positions in their work and earn above-average incomes. Due to all of
this, they need more mental stimulation than the average man.
The men are almost always the ones to instigate a cuckold lifestyle.
THE REAL PLEASURES BEHIND CUCKOLDRY
Paradoxically, the central figure that
cuckoldry serves is the “victimized”, “humiliated” man. He is the one
who experiences the most pleasure in this dynamic.
A man with a cuckold fetish derives his
pleasure from the mental anguish and humiliation that results from his
wife’s infidelity. (I use the words “infidelity” and “cheating” within
the context of a consensual arrangement). He is immensely aroused by the
thought of his woman with another man, lusted by other men. He wants to
see his partner satisfied, and by doing so he now has a ‘private porn
collection’ by which he uses to masturbate and fantasize. This is more
rewarding than actual sex with his partner.
By being the cuckold, he willingly assumes the position of the sexual submissive. He is submissive to his wife, and he is now lowered in rank
in respect to the other man having sex with his wife. He and his
partner often ‘complete’ this fantasy by having sex right after she
cheats on him.
Being a cuckold is to experience a form of
psychological masochism. It is a cerebral pursuit whereby the man feels a
kaleidoscope of feelings such as jealousy, misery, gratitude, shame,
sublimation, inadequacy, and lust. It is a mental version of sensation
play in which the emotions themselves are the sources of pleasure,
bringing out some of our most intense reptilian instincts. A highly
intelligent individual wants to experience this ‘psychological high’ for
two reasons: to feel alive, and to feel diminished from the loss of
control. In the book Masochism and the Self, author Roy Baumeister explains:
"Cuckolding is a form of escapism. Cucks are relieving themselves of the stress and burden of their social role and escaping into a simpler, less expansive role."
Small penis humiliation is a point of focus
for the victim. The other man is often more well-endowed, more
handsome, and referred to as a “Bull”. The physical superiority of the
other man adds to the humiliation of the husband.
Lastly, cuckoldry gives some men the chance
to vicariously explore their repressed bisexual urges. While it is
arousing to watch their wife with someone else, for some it is just as
exciting to watch a naked man have sex, period. The wife who understands
her husband’s bisexual curiosities would sometimes command him to
service the Bull during foreplay.
EVOLUTIONARY PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND THE CUCKOLD FETISH
Psychologists have attributed the cuckold fetish to theories rooted
in evolutionary biology. With all these submissives from all parts of
the world sharing the same fetish, it is not absurd to think cuckoldry
triggers something inherent in our nature as human beings.
Cuckoldry induces sexual competition among men. In the book Sperm Wars: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict, and Other Bedroom Battles,
author Robin Baker argues that a man is incentivized by biological
urges to copulate with his partner in an effort to “compete” with the
other man’s sperm. From an evolutionary perspective, the mere idea of
one’s wife cheating and straying is a risk to his genetic success, and
it is a male’s duty to make sure that his own sperm makes it to the egg.
Get away from that womb, it’s MINE for the impregnating!
When we first meet our partners-to-be, the very fact that they were
initially unattainable — and thus taming them would be a glorious
challenge — is what attracted us to them in the first place. They are a
prize to be won, and this desire fuels our pursuits. As a relationship
grows and settles into a comfortable routine involving dinner and
Netflix, the strong desire we felt at the beginning naturally subsides.
We stop being the hunter. The exciting world of cuckoldry ‘re-activates’
our hunter mentality, causing us to want our partners again with all
the intensified feelings about risk and possible denial. This is further
enhanced with the knowledge that although our partners have sexually
strayed from us, we can still bathe in the comfort that they will always
come home us. Cuckoldry allows you to have your cake and eat it too.
Hopefully, by now you will have gained a better understanding of your
own cuckold fantasies with a little more acceptance and proactive
curiosity. The benefits of exploring cuckoldry is rich with emotions and
sexual gratification when honest and open communication take place. As a
Dominatrix, I will help you take that first step into becoming that
poorly-endowed, sexually inadequate, semen-cleaning bitch of a man you
have always wanted to be.
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