Even those who have put their fears behind them and are inflamed with desire to share their desire with their spouse will agonize over this question for years or even decades. The one with cuckold desire may see this as a thing of great beauty and tremendous power. If only there was some way to broach this!
Reposted from Dr. Dawn Michael's blog, The Happy Spouse, this article brings to the fore the compelling yet paralyzing desire to inform one's spouse of the desire to be cuckolded. It has been lightly edited without permission to improve readability.
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How to tell my wife that I want to be in a Cuckold marriage?
As a clinical sexologist and intimacy counselor, men ask for my advice on what to do about their fetishes. About 80% of the men are married. Most men with this fantasy had their fetish before marrying their wife thinking that it would go away after marrying. But it does not. One type of fetish that has intrigued me over the years is a man that wants his wife to cuckold him.
He has recurring thoughts and fantasies of his wife having sex with other men and getting pleasure from them. The husband is usually the one who wants to get his wife involved but he does not know how to go about telling her.
Once in a while I counsel a couple who wants to explore cuckolding together, but typically it is the man who initiates this fetish. When a wife has sex with a man other than her husband, she makes her husband a 'cuckold.' But sometimes, it is the husband who wants his wife to have sex with the other man, either in front of him or else hears about it after.
The husband derives much satisfaction from watching his wife take pleasure from another man. Typically, that other man has a larger than average penis.
Another aspect about cuckolding, is the husband needing to be shamed by his wife. One way is for her to compare his penis size with her lover, and to tell her husband that his penis is just to small to please her.
Other forms of shaming can go along with the cuckolding as well depending on the scope of the cuckolding session. Some husbands like to be tied to a chair and forced to watch, and not allowed to touch themselves while the scenario is being played out in front of them. Sometimes a wife will place a cock cage or chastity belt on the husband so that he is not able to masturbate. A wife may also spank her husband as a form of deeper humiliation and domination...
The man who has this fetish, dreams about his wife sharing it with him. But for the most part, men who approach their wives with this don't get a positive response. It either results into a fight, hard feeling or a trial period leading to disaster. Some women may be more open to it than others, but the majority will not.
Husbands have asked me as a professional about how to approach their wives with their fantasy of cuckolding, and the answer is always to have a session beforehand with me to understand how to approach his wife and her possible respond.
I will advise my male clients who are into the cuckolding fantasy is that they need to tell their wives slowly and see what her reaction is. Some women are more open to the idea of cuckolding than others but unless it is approached in the right manner often time it does not go well. The history of men telling me their stories before seeing me they did not approach their wives correctly and it closed the door for them altogether.
The fact is that once a man is interested in this form of a fetish it is hard to stop him from thinking about it and wanting to act on it!
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The above article by Dr. Dawn Michael has several reader responses. Among them, MB wrote:
'I have had this fantasy for many years, but I really doubt my wife would be interested in any manner. The thought of her being intimate and fucked by a "real man" is a real turn - on for me. I wish she was aware of my true feelings.'
That is precisely the point of Dr. Michael's article.
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