Questions meddle with our minds, invade our interest, kindle our curiosity, and push aside older thoughts to make room for new ideas to grow. It's as if the new ideas WANT to expand and fill the picture.
Take Dan Savage. He writes edgy stuff. His articles prod things that some people believe shouldn't be disturbed. But if there's nothing to it, why should it matter? And if there IS something to it, why run from it? If it is true, why shouldn't we discuss it?
Consider Dan's Feb 21, 2014 post for the Washington City Paper.
His title line asks, 'Why Do Husbands Like Cuckolding?' Some suggest that's something that ought NEVER be mentioned! Yet there it is, published for the world to read.
The article opens with a reader letter.
'I am a straight male, married to a woman for 25 years. Our marriage started to go sour about 14 years ago. Sex was infrequent and stultifying.'
It seems that man found another of Dan's articles on cuckoldry. He mentioned the article to his wife who asked him to read it. Discussion followed. Some would say, 'that discussion ought NEVER to have happened.' But apparently, it did.
And the dynamics in their relationship changed considerably!
Mr. Savage offers thoughts and quotes for the remainder his article. These seem to have poked and prodded another reader's mind. Elana writes the following:
____________
'This can work. I know of several husbands that are into this. I think it is only going to grow.As a woman I know it is very taboo to consider this arrangement. I struggle with it my self.
It turns my husband and I on very much, but it is hard to move forward without feeling guilty, or at the least very out of place.
I think as women we need to talk more openly about this. Men for centuries have had multiple lovers.
As women why can't we?
____________
Elana says much in these few lines.
'This can work' shows conviction based on her own reflection and some personal inquiry. Also note the strength of Elana's own desire. She says that both she and her husband are powerfully aroused by the cuckold motif. She admits that she herself wants to do this.
That it is 'very taboo' even to 'consider' such arrangements doesn't speak against it at all. This speaks FOR it. Even though she struggles against guilt and feeling 'very out of place,' she sets herself toward it and sees it as the future. This reveals the strength of her desire. Hard as it is to 'move forward,' it's pretty clear that she is determined to do so.
Elana knows that it can work, and that it IS the future. How did she come to this? Likely, she discussed it with the 'several husbands' she knows -- possibly with her own husband present. Clearly, she discussed it with her husband since she knows that he is very aroused by it just as she is.
But the key that will determine all this is the simple, undeniable fact that both she and her husband are extremely aroused by it. For them, this arises naturally as they explore their sexual lives. That's why the naysayers can't win, and why mainstream cuckoldry is inevitable. It's why more blogs, websites and clubs are devoted to it all the time.
For the awakening cuckoldrix, this can't happen fast enough!
How much better would this be if Elana DIDN'T feel 'out of place!' How much easier would it be if only she had opportunity to discuss these things in a safe, supportive environment!
And that is exactly what she wants when she says that 'as women we need to talk more openly about this.'
That is why this blog is here, however much some wish it wasn't.
This blog exists as a safe place where women, their husbands and lovers can discuss and grow new ideas about cuckoldry and related issues.
Elana notes that men have always had multiple lovers. Always. Then she asks that simple question, a question that nags, irritates and just won't leave one be:
'As women, why can't we?'And again, I couldn't agree more!
The cuckolding idea deeply arouses Elana and her husband. Why should ostracism or censure be the price for what both Elana and her husband desire greatly?
It's not Elana – it's her would-be critics who misguidedly project their expectations and moral code onto others who are at fault. Their actions are reprehensible and disgusting.
Elana's question encourages women to find courage to explore this aspect of their sexuality just as she has. If women are encouraged in this direction, if women are supported as they broaden their relationships, this blog will have achieved its purpose.
Elana's question bears repeating:
'Can we at least begin discussing this more openly?'Precisely because some attack the world's 'Elanas' for their courage, posts are reviewed before appearing here.
No women, girlfriends, husbands, boyfriends or lovers will be denigrated on this blog because they commit to exploring this aspect of our human sexuality.
And reader responses are always welcome.
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